Sometimes, shift happens.
In May I had an incredible opportunity taken away from me that I had been working towards for a full year, and I've been slowly getting back on my feet because of the devastation it caused me. I was going to be working with a band this summer, mixing for them and working together as a team, but two weeks before our tour started my new supervisor took me off the team because he wanted someone else to go in my place. Someone less experienced; someone he had trained himself.
There are a whole lot of details surrounding this situation, but it comes down to two things: my employers let me go because I am a female sound technician and because I worked with another employee to unveil the truth of some ugly parts of the organization. Because of their bias (thinking a female wouldn't do well with heavy lifting, continual mixing, adequate skills, etc.) and their unwillingness to face the music, my summer was lost. Or so it seemed.
I am surrounded by amazing people. People who encourage me and do not think that I am worthless. I am not worthless. I am not some human being that can easily be thrown aside, but that's what my previous employers laid out for me: that I was not worth their time.
In the midst of this, the most important thing for me to remember is that a majority of what those people told me is incorrect. And most importantly, being rejected by one group of people for unjust reasons does not determine how skilled I am or what my worth is. I determine that.
Life was never meant to be easy; we weren't meant to stand up and march forward on a clear paved road. I was walking along, and while I was looking up smiling brightly I fell into a deep crevasse that blinded me and made me panic. But that's why God made people and ladders, so that someone could put the ladder in my hole. But it's my choice to use it, or sit their mourning over the fact that I'm in a crevasse.
Don't get me wrong, mourning definitely has its place. It's necessary! But after two months of hopelessness, I'm ready to climb that ladder.